Am I Doing the RIGHT Thing

Once again I can't sleep and so I sit here writing into a blog that no one but me will ever read.  Talk about depressing.  As I look back on the last couple of weeks the common theme that keeps coming up is simple - am I doing the right thing?

My life has had its share of disappointments and stress, but things could have been a lot worse.  Paula and Xander are always there to pick me up and I am not living in a car or something.  So all told I have had a successful life.  But through it all I really haven't had time to plan for anything or had the time to stress over details.

As a kid I was a Navy brat.  We lived up and down the East Coast, but honestly it never really impacted me.  Mom and Dad would come in, say we are moving to XYZ, I would pack and that would be it.  Easy peasy.   When I graduated college I moved to Houston, but again that was done over the course of about 2 weeks and so everything was rushed.  When I moved back to Ohio, same thing.  Moving to Alabama?  Hired on October 4th, living here before Halloween.

That all leads us to now.  I am moving my family to a city I haven't even picked out yet.  On top of that I am rushed because we have to sell the house, but at the same time it is the longest period of time I have had to contemplate a move since I went away to college.  What does that mean?  It means all the little concerns I experience have all the time in the world to percolate into full blown fears.  Are we making the right choice?  Should we just stay here?  Will the house sell?  How will we live if it doesn't?  Will I be able to get into classes easily at the new school?  Will Paula be able to get a job?  Will Xander like his new school?  Will he make friends?

Don't get me wrong.  I am excited about the opportunity that has presented itself.  I hope I am up to the task - I think Corey will make sure I am before the end of the summer - but until I start there is just no way of knowing.  I think someone with my temperament - a self proclaimed "jack of all trades" will be just what the lab needs to get started.  But I wonder about that too.  And I wonder about my coding skills, my abilities and my general lack of self confidence.

So what is the answer?  I do not know.  I think I am making the best decision for the long term.  Is it the "safe" option?  Probably not.  There weren't really any safe options presented, all of them had a risk.  Staying at UAB might have been the safe option, if I was sure they would continue to fund my position after Dr. Soni left.  Would joining Corey have been the safe option?  Maybe.  I firmly believe in what he is looking to accomplish and I think they can do it, but that does not mean they will and I could not afford to work the hours required for the salary he was willing to pay.  And so that leaves the option I took...open ended employment, lots of chances to do things right...all for the cost of moving from our home of the last ten years, pulling my wife from her job and my son from his friends.

So did I choose right?